News that makes us laugh, cry, or both

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 5:20 pm

John Stewart did yet another GB parody in response.

The Lunatic Fringe · Post by **The Lunatic Fringe** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 9:58 pm

Only 53% of Americans say that capitalism is better than socialism, with the rest split between "socialism is better" and "undecided". As expected, younger people are more likely to favor socialism.

We are winning. Slowly.

http://www.rasmussenreports.com/public_ ... _socialism

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Tue Mar 23, 2010 10:55 pm

An atheist rants about the Church

Neeeek · Post by **Neeeek** » Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:29 pm

RobbyPants wrote:That's weird. And, really, I don't know how he'd claim it's "not what Jesus would say." I thought Jesus was pretty blatantly a communist (or at least close to it; more so than capitalist).

Seriously, these people routinely attribute things that aren't from the Bible to the Bible. Last week on the Colbert Report, Mary Matalin claimed that the "give a man a fish/teach a man to fish" line was from the Gospels. It's not. It's something attributed to Confucius.

I find it sad that I am an atheist and I know their texts better than they do.

CatharzGodfoot · Post by **CatharzGodfoot** » Wed Mar 24, 2010 5:47 pm

Neeeek wrote:Seriously, these people routinely attribute things that aren't from the Bible to the Bible. Last week on the Colbert Report, Mary Matalin claimed that the "give a man a fish/teach a man to fish" line was from the Gospels. It's not. It's something attributed to Confucius.

Speaking of which, I feel that the Donald Rumsfeld riposte deserves mention.

Gelare · Post by **Gelare** » Wed Mar 24, 2010 10:01 pm

Ahahahahaha.

"For nearly 30 years, India and Bangladesh have argued over control of a tiny rock island in the Bay of Bengal. Now rising sea levels have resolved the dispute for them: the island's gone."

Cynic · Post by **Cynic** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 3:48 am

Gelare wrote:Ahahahahaha.

"For nearly 30 years, India and Bangladesh have argued over control of a tiny rock island in the Bay of Bengal. Now rising sea levels have resolved the dispute for them: the island's gone."

now if only India would quit fucking arguing over Kashmir with everyone else...

Fuchs · Post by **Fuchs** » Thu Mar 25, 2010 10:37 am

India and Bangladesh keep arguing over the sea borders there though.

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Sun Mar 28, 2010 3:32 am

So, Senator Scott Brown of Massachusetts is already thinking of 2012 elections. Being a proactive sort, he's already fundraising.

Being a member of the Republican Party, he's not shy about just making shit up.

So he's basically been lying and saying Rachel Maddow is being tapped to run against him.

Here's her answer:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26315908/vp ... 5#36060965

Maxus · Post by **Maxus** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 5:01 pm

http://abcnews.go.com/GMA/TheLaw/michig ... d=10228716

That is just too crazy.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 5:33 pm

Wow. I like how Jesus is their "top general". I'm pretty sure Jesus was pretty explicit on both not killing people and respecting the local government.

I've noticed the more right-leaning a group of Christians is, the less and less they take the New Testament into account in their decision making.

Kaelik · Post by **Kaelik** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:43 pm

RobbyPants wrote:I'm pretty sure Jesus was pretty explicit on both not killing people

You'd be wrong.

mean_liar · Post by **mean_liar** » Mon Mar 29, 2010 6:54 pm

RobbyPants wrote:Wow. I like how Jesus is their "top general". I'm pretty sure Jesus was pretty explicit on both not killing people and respecting the local government.

I've noticed the more right-leaning a group of Christians is, the less and less they take the New Testament into account in their decision making.

Actually, there's a textual basis for that kind of nuttery (of course):

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/But_to_bring_a_sword

But if you dump enough conflicting statements down and declare them all equally righteous and true you're going to end up with that sort of nonsense.

RobbyPants · Post by **RobbyPants** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 12:18 pm

Yeah, good point. I guess I'm used to the interpretation that he's upsetting the established order, and not telling them to literally kill their parents for his sake. The literal wording leaves the intent quite open.

That, and I think about the part in the garden where Peter attacked one of the guards arresting him, and he healed the guard and scolded Peter. Bah! Trying to find the "true" intent of the Bible is pretty much impossible. There's enough stuff in there that the peace-loving Christians and militant cop-killers can all find adequate justification.

angelfromanotherpin · Post by **angelfromanotherpin** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 4:32 pm

Fail.

Starmaker · Post by **Starmaker** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:07 pm

Angel, you closed an url= with a /quote.

Also, wtf? Do states have separate criminal databases? Is it possible to commit a crime and jump state to evade prosecution?

Username17 · Post by **Username17** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 6:43 pm

Starmaker wrote: Also, wtf? Do states have separate criminal databases? Is it possible to commit a crime and jump state to evade prosecution?

Yes.

That's why the FBI is so scary. They can and will follow your ass across state lines. In many ways, the United States is a country in the same way that say, Europe, India, or China is "a" country.

-Username17

virgil · Post by **virgil** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 7:06 pm

That's the closest I've ever seen to Frank saying something about the government that the people I know in Texas would find favorable (they practically jizz over state>nation rhetoric).

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:03 pm

That's okay, states failing to open up their databases to the feds is a serious crime with both financial and criminal penalties for the state...

-Crissa

Neeeek · Post by **Neeeek** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:25 pm

Starmaker wrote: Also, wtf? Do states have separate criminal databases? Is it possible to commit a crime and jump state to evade prosecution?

In theory, yes, in practice, not really. Extradition between states is extremely easy, and requesting another state arrest someone who is at large in their state is almost never denied (for obvious reasons. The other state doesn't want the criminal to be in their state either).

Rejakor · Post by **Rejakor** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 9:49 pm

Yeah, here in australia we don't have anywhere near the level of state independence you crazy americans 'enjoy'. Some (very few) laws are different, there's different state infrastructure and they're loosely 'independent', but everything is still ultimately under the purview of the federal government, and the states generally work together.

I seriously wouldn't find it too weird if an american state(s) declared independence from the rest of the country. That wouldn't even be unexpected in my mind. Whereas the same thing happening here? Hah. Fat chance. Aussies are sheep(our sweet accents aside).

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Tue Mar 30, 2010 11:03 pm

We already had a war about that. States joining and leaving requires 3/4ths of the country to agree.

Neeeek wrote:
Starmaker wrote: Also, wtf? Do states have separate criminal databases? Is it possible to commit a crime and jump state to evade prosecution?
In theory, yes, in practice, not really. Extradition between states is extremely easy, and requesting another state arrest someone who is at large in their state is almost never denied (for obvious reasons. The other state doesn't want the criminal to be in their state either).

Although generally states will not act upon each other's warrants proactively... So they generally won't spend the money to send officers out. That's why there are bail bondsmen in many states, though in some states (like New York and Oregon, they're not allowed). This has led to many states having more people in jail because they can't make bond than people in jail for being found guilty...

Also, guess where census canvassers are going to hafta go in force this year? Steve Benen collects some details.

-Crissa

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:34 am

Crissa wrote:Also, guess where census canvassers are going to hafta go in force this year? Steve Benen collects some details.

-Crissa

They're not going to go out in force to talk to these loons because they don't want to get murdered and then have their deaths swept under the rug by local law enforcement. And if they wisely keep their distance, no census workers will have to get killed get killed, the Teabaggers get to foment in peace, and Texas loses federal funding and political power. Sounds like a win/win/win situation to me!

Ganbare Gincun · Post by **Ganbare Gincun** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:36 am

On a lighter note: Battlefield Earth Screenwriter Writes Hilarious Open Apology

Crissa · Post by **Crissa** » Wed Mar 31, 2010 5:45 am

The evidence that it was a suicide was pretty solid and annoying.

Also: As much as I dislike Scientologists, the book was better.

-Crissa